For the past three years I have coped with the depression myself and I learnt how to control my feelings; I learnt to say No and Yes to things I did and didn't want to do; I was honest and open-minded; I found out what I liked and didn't like; I found the most amazing boyfriend who understands what I am going through, as well as helping me cope - emotional support.
Things took a big U-Turn when I became pregnant and my hormones went haywire. I found myself crying at adverts, throwing up from my favourite foods, getting snappy and bitchy towards everyone including Alexander, and getting happy at the most random things. With all these changes and my past depression, I became more prone to depression coming back.
Thinking because I coped in the past, I thought it would be easy to get my head back on straight and cope - I was far from right. For some reason this time around, I can't cope, something's different.
Do you know what's the worst thing someone who is supposed to care about your health can do? Shove a phone number in your face when you go to them for the help.
That's right.
I went to my GP to see if he could refer me to counselling for my depression, he asked me how I feel and what's going on in my life, offered to give me medication (you know i won't take them, my own personal opinion. I have nothing against pills so if you take them to help you then that's great! They're just not for me) which i refused. He then he wrote down a number and said: "ring them." Okay pal, but you can refer me, why are you giving me a random number?
My midwife purposely made an appointment with my GP so HE could HELP not for him to just brush off my problems and give me a number I could have gotten off Google. There was no sentimental affection towards my illness, there was just an attitude that, because I was his last appointment of the day, I was nothing and pushed me aside so he could go home.
If I was his family and he saw what I go through every single day, he wouldn't hesitate to get me a counsellor himself, he would be the first on the phone getting me the first appointment he could get, but no. I am just 'one of the patients.'
Should I get a second opinion, or a new GP altogether?
I thought there would be someone there for me, just like GPs are supposed to be. I guess there really isn't anyone there when you are at your lowest and close to a breakdown.
I'm pregnant, this is the most critical time in mine and my baby's life - help is a must. Hopefully, if I find a second opinion or go private and get a counsellor myself, I can get back to my usual self and enjoy my pregnancy once again. Until then, I am coping myself.
Things that you can do to cope:
Cry
Have you ever held in your tears so much your throat burns? Have you ever felt like you just want to explode? Don't feel afraid or embarrassed to let your feelings out. Cry if you want to, baby! It is better for you and your health to let those weaknesses leak out of you. As Alexander tells me 'Tears are droplets of weakness leaving your body and you will come out stronger.' You will feel tons better like you've had a weight lifted off your shoulders once you have let it all out. Cry with a friend, family member, or a loved one, or cry alone; whichever you feel more comfortable doing. Believe me, it hurts like hell to cry, but in the end, you will come out stronger.
Keep yourself occupied
It's not easy to occupy yourself when your mind is full of bad thoughts and all kinds of imaginary situations, but if you find yourself twiddling your thumbs, biting your nails, or scratching an itch, go out with a friend. Honestly, with your friend gossiping down your ear, you will forget all about your problems for a while. Go shopping; eat a meal; watch a comedy; or take up knitting. Doing things rather than sitting alone in a dark room just down in the dump is the best thing to do. It's okay to be alone for a while but don't isolate yourself from the world for a crazy amount of time.
Take a long relaxing bubble bath
Sometimes taking time to concentrate on you and you only is best. Besides sitting alone in a room for a little while, it is also best to take a nice bubble bath whilst listening to some favourite music. What I do is listen to relaxing and hypnosis music. For full info on the music click my post link here. I would definitely recommend a little pampering session either during or after your bubble bath, also.
Pamper yourself
Make yourself feel your self-love again. It's okay to be selfish and self-absorbed once in a while. Learn to love yourself and you will feel more confident and happy inside and out! Take a friend with you if you go outside of your house to get pampered; a spa day; go to the local salon to have a manicure/pedicure; get a new hairdo. Whatever you want and feel comfortable doing - do it.
If you don't suffer from depression but want to know what you can do to support and help your loved one or friend, don't hesitate to help them out.
Take them for a meal; write a letter of confidence, love and laughter; take your loved one on a surprise date; buy flowers; book a spa day for either you and your loved one or your loved one and a friend of theirs; give them a massage to help loosen those knots; spontaneously book a weekend away whether it's abroad or just to the local beach/caravan park; run them a hot bubble bath surrounded by candles and the sound of relaxing music. Finally, you could just hold your friend/loved one until all of their tears have been shed - hold them until they fall asleep. There are plenty of things that you can do to help your friend. I do recommend surprises as it will show them that you have taken the time and effort to think about them and display you are there for them.
Remember I am not a professional, this is merely from my own past and current experiences. Pregnancy is hard so whoever said it was magical is lying. Things to cope are just suggestions and I do a few myself to help myself cope. Please don't hesitate to share your own stories with me, I am here to support you which is why I am sharing my story and sharing coping mechanisms.
If you don't want to share publicly via the comment box, my email is always open: lnohara95.loh@gmail.com (lowercase L's.)
Much love,
Full post in full detail of my depression in the past
Things that you can do to cope:
Cry
Have you ever held in your tears so much your throat burns? Have you ever felt like you just want to explode? Don't feel afraid or embarrassed to let your feelings out. Cry if you want to, baby! It is better for you and your health to let those weaknesses leak out of you. As Alexander tells me 'Tears are droplets of weakness leaving your body and you will come out stronger.' You will feel tons better like you've had a weight lifted off your shoulders once you have let it all out. Cry with a friend, family member, or a loved one, or cry alone; whichever you feel more comfortable doing. Believe me, it hurts like hell to cry, but in the end, you will come out stronger.
Keep yourself occupied
It's not easy to occupy yourself when your mind is full of bad thoughts and all kinds of imaginary situations, but if you find yourself twiddling your thumbs, biting your nails, or scratching an itch, go out with a friend. Honestly, with your friend gossiping down your ear, you will forget all about your problems for a while. Go shopping; eat a meal; watch a comedy; or take up knitting. Doing things rather than sitting alone in a dark room just down in the dump is the best thing to do. It's okay to be alone for a while but don't isolate yourself from the world for a crazy amount of time.
Take a long relaxing bubble bath
Sometimes taking time to concentrate on you and you only is best. Besides sitting alone in a room for a little while, it is also best to take a nice bubble bath whilst listening to some favourite music. What I do is listen to relaxing and hypnosis music. For full info on the music click my post link here. I would definitely recommend a little pampering session either during or after your bubble bath, also.
Pamper yourself
Make yourself feel your self-love again. It's okay to be selfish and self-absorbed once in a while. Learn to love yourself and you will feel more confident and happy inside and out! Take a friend with you if you go outside of your house to get pampered; a spa day; go to the local salon to have a manicure/pedicure; get a new hairdo. Whatever you want and feel comfortable doing - do it.
If you don't suffer from depression but want to know what you can do to support and help your loved one or friend, don't hesitate to help them out.
Take them for a meal; write a letter of confidence, love and laughter; take your loved one on a surprise date; buy flowers; book a spa day for either you and your loved one or your loved one and a friend of theirs; give them a massage to help loosen those knots; spontaneously book a weekend away whether it's abroad or just to the local beach/caravan park; run them a hot bubble bath surrounded by candles and the sound of relaxing music. Finally, you could just hold your friend/loved one until all of their tears have been shed - hold them until they fall asleep. There are plenty of things that you can do to help your friend. I do recommend surprises as it will show them that you have taken the time and effort to think about them and display you are there for them.
Remember I am not a professional, this is merely from my own past and current experiences. Pregnancy is hard so whoever said it was magical is lying. Things to cope are just suggestions and I do a few myself to help myself cope. Please don't hesitate to share your own stories with me, I am here to support you which is why I am sharing my story and sharing coping mechanisms.
If you don't want to share publicly via the comment box, my email is always open: lnohara95.loh@gmail.com (lowercase L's.)
Much love,
